Have you tried to forgive your cheating spouse only to have it all come back to haunt you later? This can happen when we have not forgiven completely. Anyone can say they have forgiven, but what is your heart saying?.

The purpose for forgiving those who have hurt us is to eliminate destructive emotions and negative thought patterns. This counter-productive stuff piles up if we don't do anything about it. Firstly, we need to be spiritually and mentally whole so we can communicate feelings and needs appropriately to our spouse/partner. Then, and only then, can we actually start the forgivness process.

I firmly believe that we need to take care of our self before we can take care of someone else. If we are all messed up inside, full of bitterness and twisted with resentment towards our cheating spouse, we certainly cannot forgive them. The same applies with love. We need to love ourselves first before we can love someone else.

If we refuse to forgive our cheating spouse we are missing the incredible opportunity to experience the joys in forgiving and sharing that happiness with our spouse. The marriage will not experience the growth process that takes place within it's framework, and the couple's spiritual relationship. It is possible that a marriage can remain stunted by not forgiving or it can grow out in a healty way by forgiving completely.